the last of the Ron Paul guys walks up to you with an outstretched hand a shitbag civilian in an 07 ford Taurus in a costal town on the edge of Pawtucket where a friend's ex boyfriend shot cans with his rifle. he texted you the next day calling you cute then later a faggot, and she was never the one that got away - she lives in her parent's attic now. when you're in Providence they're weiners not hot dogs but you didn't want to go there and see anyone you knew. the last time i was asked to smoke crack was outside the 7/11 down the street, and every time i've politely declined the proffer has been more than understanding. and it's now and your friend asks you why you can't gut a fish because it's the more ethical thing to do than to release. and the flies are in your hair and you picture yourself in a malaria net hiding and chilling with the next great disease. cape cod goth girl walks into the bait and tackle with something on her mind and more than a few returns but you'll imagine what she does and doesn't know and that makes u so above and below. now im making cups of coffee and forgetting to drink them because im magnificent and dumb and can hold a steady job. my boss works for the ascended who mostly live in the desert but i can brag that i held open the door.
Friday, June 2, 2023
Wednesday, April 19, 2023
god is a concept by which we measure our pain
Wednesday, January 25, 2023
2022 Music Log
I'm defining fun right before your eyes. I spent the last two months abusing my right to do what I want and now the doctors say I need to write about it. The whole thing? Sure why not. I'll be in bed all week. Alex and I talked about lovers coyly referencing our lyrics in the bedroom, betwixt delicate limbs and such. I'm sure those people will be happy to know that I did not spend New Year's Eve in the North Andover CVS being called a boy. In many ways when the ball dropped this year I was closer to my friends than ever. Kept going back and forth on whether or not I was going to post anything about media consumption. I figure go big or go home. If this is like any other thing I've written it won't even be posted. Those who know me understand the fact that I'm writing at all is a bad sign.
JANUARY
I've learned that no music is truly sad. Elliott Smith was a lovable goofball who played a hospital clown on the weekends. Ian Curtis was excellent with jumprope and often whistled "Skip to my Lou" before JD shows. This is one of the best years I've had in awhile but the hell of the former was still lingering in the
air when I heard this. What I'm saying is this didn't have a lot of utility for my lovesick ears and it still stuck with me.
air when I heard this. What I'm saying is this didn't have a lot of utility for my lovesick ears and it still stuck with me.
Fave Tracks: She Sends Kisses, Boys You Won't
A Certain Smile, A Certain Sadness - Rocketship
Really the whole discography. Everything I tried to do this year started with this. It litters some of the best songs I wrote. Soundtracked romance. Nearly blew my ears out multiple times with that fucking glorious organ. I'll just throw a bunch of essential tracks here coz this band rules and a lot of my favorites aren't even on this record. Just typing some of these titles makes me weep.
Fave Tracks: Kisses Are Always Promises, We're Both Alone, It's Gonna Be Soon, All That I Know, Hey Hey Girl, You Make Me Happy in My Sorrow
Rolling Stone named 2022 the year of lo-fi! Finally putting all of us little guys on the map. We've all heard his hit remix of Five Hundred Miles absolutely annihilating the airwaves. For all of you album-heads out there I suggest you check out the rest. You'll be drowning by the end.
Fave Tracks: Arman Doley, Five Hundred Miles
King Astro Slikk the Magnificent - Ruben Slikk
All I need is an excuse and a girl who makes me blush. When I would later explore 2010s cloud rap this man would determine whether or not I was gonna have a good time. Honestly haven't given this a full listen since the last walk through my hometown. Just gonna name a bunch of songs from WhereverTheFuck again. His freestyle vids are funny as shit.
Fave Tracks: Mofukkin King, Don't B Mad, China Whyte, Arab Bomber, Hard Earned Jizz, Kingdom Hearts
AW HELL NO - Keyboard
Never heard a better dare in my life. Can you walk away without inspiration? This dude was injecting R&B into bedroom pop before any of you even had a bedroom. This thing has become an obsessive fixation amongst everyone who hears it. I'll save ink on an explanation and direct you to the description of this upload. An elaborate trick? Press play, Bitch.
Fave Trracks: Tupac, Make It Rain in the Club, When You Make Love, Do the D.K., Vibin' You
Other Listens
Night Time, My Time - Sky Ferreira*
October - U2
Atta Girl - Heavenly
Pacer - The Amps
Allo Darlin' - Allo Darlin'
Rarities - Rocketship*
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips
Burning Farm - Shonen Knife
19 - Longmont Potion Castle*
FEBRUARY
Finally saw The Boys live. The Animal Boys. Finally saw the Happy Tree Friends live. I don't think a single one of them wasn't looking fuckable as shit that night. That's just the power of Panda and His Crew. Big highlight was hearing Chores.
Fave Tracks: Dragon Slayer, Prester John, Strung With Everything, Royal and Desire
As Hard As You Can - LustSickPuppy
Really funny how shocked someone was by my sample identification for HORNIEST SONG EVER on Genius. Brutal, lots of fun. Had multiple chances to see them perform this year and didn't. I deserve a second chance so they can assassinate me for my absence the first time around.
Fave Tracks: AS HARD AS YOU CAN, HORNIEST SONG EVER
It's a really sweet record but I mainly wanna give credit where it's due. Without this I may have never released the first CUDDLE PARTY EP. Trying to think of an album cover delayed that shit for months. Did I rip it off? I dunno, it's just what I sent for a reference drawing.
Other Listens
XO - Elliott Smith
Django Reinhardt et ses rythmes - Django Reinhardt
Van Gogh's Left Ear - Zelooperz
Music Makes Me Think of You - Mad Planets
This Heat - This Heat*
Forget Your Own Face - Black Dresses*
Follymoon - Ryder the Eagle
channel ORANGE - Frank Ocean
War - U2*
Bobby Conn - Bobby Conn* (No Kids, No Money fucking RULES)
Graduation - Kanye West
MARCH
Plastic Ono Band - John Lennon
Alex, Amani, and I took our first ever trip to Hooters in September, AC/DC's Money Talks soundtracking our grand entrance. We quickly discovered the joy of the TouchTunes box. Each restaurant I've been to has a slightly different selection. I have absolutely no clue how they determine what is included on each one. Out of a playlist that included AnCo's Grass and VU's I Heard Her Call My Name worst choice we made was putting on Lennon's Mother.
Fave Tracks: Mother, Hold On, Remember
I really thought I had found this last year. Everything I discovered deep diving youtube on slow night shifts just blends together. The idea of a band like this existing in Boston was so enthralling. Essential to the ethos of the CUDDLE PARTY. First side is all about friends, second side is all about parties. The lyrics come at you so slowly you can almost predict them first listen. Speed doesn't stop truth from being true. Listen To It.
Fave Tracks: Hang Out With My Friends, I Need Friends, Party All the Time, Turn the Livingroom A Dance Floor
Alien Lanes - Guided By Voices
After bee thousand years this record finally got the confession out of me: I love Guided By Voices. Robert Pollard is easily one of the funniest guys to ever achieve some level of fame. Just some guy who wants to be Roger Daltrey. I'm a cassette freak, of course this one was gonna get me. I didn't realize I memorized most of the songs until it was too late. Love the vid of him throwing a beer can at the band covering Motor Away.
Fave Tracks: As We Go Up We Go Down, Game of Pricks, A Good Flying Bird, Motor Away, My Valuable Hunting Knife, Striped White Jets, Chicken Blows
Mista Thug Isolation - Lil Ugly Mane
Remember when I hadn't heard Lil Ugly Mane? Have I existed before now? My happiness is eternal, there will always be new ways to bring it out of me. It was never not okay to talk about being awesome.
Fave Tracks: Maniac Drug Dealer III, Slick Rick, Cup Fulla Beetlejuice, Mona Lisa Overdrive
Other Listens
The Unforgettable Fire - U2
E - Ecco2K
Eversince - Bladee*
Dennehy - Serengeti*
Admonishing the Bishops - Thinking Fellers Union Local 282
Weatherglow - Asian Glow & Weatherday
Bad - Michael Jackson
Crest - Bladee & Ecco2K
#1 Record - Big Star
Seven New Songs of Mount Eerie - Mount Eerie*
When Your Heartstrings Break - Beulah
What Flavor Is Your Death Squad Leader? - Combatwoundedveteran
L.P.1 - The Coneheads
The Joshua Tree - U2
Love Tara - Eric's Trip
Crybaby - Lil Peep
Melt My Eyez See Your Future - Denzel Curry
Three Sided Tape Volume One - Lil Ugly Mane
APRIL
The title's no longer yours, but you still live at the end of my favorite highway.
The Big Dig was completed this year, extensive excavation of Ms. Ariel's work. Heard this one with an evil disease in my brain. My old girlfriend (younger) had it too. Listened during the part of the night where I would wake up and she wouldn't. Just watch the damn Witchhunt Suite vid, I have a religion to fund.
Fave Tracks: The Bottom, Suicide Notation, I Wanna Be Young
Teenage Hate - Reatards
Reality rang for the first time in awhile blasting this on the way home from a subpar date the other night. Yes I was mad, wouldn't you be? You think a moth still wants to live after touching God? It burns out of necessity! Crazy dancing the streets of Burlington with a ham sandwich I bought, waiting for band practice to start. The man really wails on this thing.
Fave Tracks: Stacye, When I Get Mad, Out of My Head Into My Bed
Album - Girls
On occasion text looks like the tip of my dick. These days it resembles the inside of my mouth. Those who are fortunate enough to know us both can guess who's at the base of the alter here. I attend one night of the celebration, the night where this record plays. She said you look like a Laura shortly before I knew what you really looked like.
Fave Tracks: Lust For Life, Laura, Ghost Mouth, Hellhole Ratrace
Other Listens
Volume 1: Flick Your Tongue Against Your Teeth and Describe the Present - Bedwetter*
Casual Horns, Dog - The Jefferson Park Boys
Garbage Crap - NAH
It's Very Stimlating - MC Paul Barman*
SPIRAL - Frost Children*
Paul Baribeau - Paul Baribeau*
Live/Dead - The Grateful Dead
EP! - JPEGMAFIA
Grand Ledge - Paul Baribeau
Fear of the Dawn - Jack White*
Cheerful Music - Owen Rogers
Boarding House Reach - Jack White
Imagine - John Lennon*
Love in the Fascist Brother - The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower*
MAY
The 24 hour business model is dead. This is the shit we listen to now. We don't have time for 24 hours! There's time to scale New Hampshire and end up in the Wendy's drive thru if we're lucky. You can have the rest, my stomach's only six nuggets long. Seven if I use sauce. Go!!!
Fave Tracks: Let's Fucking Go!!!, A Legend in Your Own Mind
Crash - Charli XCX
I'll draw erotic Crayola in any room you stuff me through.
Fave Tracks: Lightning, Yuck, Twice
Once you've given me enough epiphanies I'll start to think you're God, and that's just the first step to falling in love. Travis, if you're reading this I'm deeply in love with your daughter and I wish to take her hand in marriage. It's the closest I can get to being her.
Faves: styrofoam, headboard, cursor, broken ladder, porcelain slightly
Other Listens
Uncle Calvin's Private Life - Kaora Todoroki*
In God We Trust, Inc. - Dead Kennedys
Check Your Head - Beastie Boys*
Oblivion Access - Lil Ugly Mane
Beach Boys' Party! - The Beach Boys*
Friends - The Beach Boys
Super Champon - Otoboke Beaver*
Black Monk Time - Monks
Trouble in Paradise - Randy Newman
The Beach Boys Today! - The Beach Boys
JUNE
Busy having fun, riding tandem vagina.
Ovens - Ovens
I don't think this band is a furry but the friend who showed me them certainly is. Shout out Bea. You can write the same thing a million times and I'll still be enthralled hearing about PCP across multiple tracks. The bonehead that lives in neither wants to credit Beethoven.
Someone pulled me aside and told me my purpose was to make people feel extremely beautiful for a little while. One of my victims pumped her arm out the window as I danced around Farmington this summer. Keep trying to bribe myself into saying this isn't my favorite but its an undeniable magnet doing thirty-three revs.
Other Listens
Chinoiseries - Onra*
D > E > A > T > H > M > E > T > A > L - Panchiko*
I Wonder Why My Favorite Boy Leaves Me an EP - The Marshmallow Kisses*
Guitar El Chark - Omar Khorshid*
Hot Pink - Doja Cat
The Lemon of Pink - The Books
Chorus - Flying Saucer Attack
Playaz Circle - Lil Ugly Mane
JULY
Photo by @allstonbyalia
Everything sounded like rehearsed jealousy and sly girl pulling the trigger.
I'll bet he's nice
I'll bet he's twice
As nice as me and it makes me cry
Coz I remember you and I
Please don't tell me if it's true
Because I'm still in love with you
There's a version of the closer I still can't show. It says something too profound and potentially compromises our entire operation. Even these hints are too much. Don't publish.
Favorites: The Night Was So Young, I'll Bet He's Nice, I Wanna Pick You Up
N- Please - Ol' Dirty Bastard
Someone just cut all of the photos out of my dictionary, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I can only be so sure but this one seems both older and dirtier.
Favess: I Can't Wait, You Don't Want to Fuck With Me
Blackland Radio 66.6 - SpaceGhostPurrp
This shit grew arms. I'm not even kidding, it grew arms and hugged me. Had it grown a pair of lips I would've identified its intentions. I would've used morse code, numb nuts. My computer is all pixelated and now they're telling me I have to make a rap album.
Fave Tracks: Suck a Dick for 2011, Take dat Dick, Mack Named Purrp, Son of Sam
Other Listens
Uneven Compromise - Lil Ugly Mane*
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - Kanye West
Rhythms of the Grasslands: Music of Upper Volta-Volume II
Whammy! - The B-52s
Justified - Justin Timberlake
Melted - Ty Segall
6 Feet Deep - Gravediggaz*
Keyboard - Keyboard
At Folsom Prison - Johnny Cash*
Hellfire - black midi
Three Sided Tape Volume Two - Lil Ugly Mane
Tin Drum - Japan
Adolescent Sex - Japan
Scooby Doo's Snack Tracks: The Ultimate Collection
The Madcap Laughs - Syd Barrett
Leave Home - Ramones
Road to Ruin - Ramones
With Love From... - The Hit Parade*
Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers - Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers
AUGUST
You always seem to encounter the poison right before you conveniently find the antidote. This shit is so fucking funny and it cheered me up countless times after a bad shift. From what I can tell the man is rapping free verse off the dome into his iPhone which is also picking up the beats he's playing off another speaker. It's one of the most brilliant things I've heard. You can truly doing everything.
Stayed distant from this for awhile because where the fuck are the vocals Stevie? Why make this an instrumental release? Why make it at all? I'll tell you why: gorgeous production. Sheer power of composition. If The Beatles aren't there and he's not The Beatles then who is? You Are. Sing. Grab your sweetheart and dance your ass off.
Faves: You're Gonna Lose That Girl, Help!
On most good days I'll wake up to find a man at the foot of my bed telling me I can choose to be obnoxious. For so long I desperately wanted to do it. More than anything. I simply couldn't find any subjects. Watch in awe as still portraits triumphantly fist their microphone atop Mount Now.
Fave Traxxx: Pop Zeus, Do Something Real, And I Don't (So Now I Do)
OTHERS
Nasa Gang - SpaceGhostPurrp
Yod Stewart - Your Old Droog
Mosquito: The Original Soundtrack - Mark Winter
Sovereign Nose of Your Arrogant Face - Scallops Hotel
Yodney Dangerfield - Your Old Droog
Reset - Panda Bear & Sonic Boom
Mature Themes - Ariel Pink
AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted - Ice Cube
Doing the Limbo - Spring Breeding
Tapeworm: SFX - Phil Milstein
Ovary Action - Yeastie Girlz*
Electric Mud - Muddy Waters
Ariel (Friedman) EP - Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
(What's the Story) Morning Glory? - Oasis
Fashion Nugget - Cake*
Prolonging the Magic - Cake
Dust 2017 - Dust From 1,000 Years
SEPTEMBER
There is a legion of Boston artists so secret that not even members outside of myself know about it. I watched this girl chomp at the audience like a rabid dog on a quarter inch leash. Incredible rock and roll, expresses it correctly. Put down your pen, you're too late.
Fave Tracks: JUST LIKE THAT, KICK IT, SEX TOY
The Lakes of Zones B and C - Emperor X
Admitting I'm a creep accomplishes nothing, yet I look up to the ex who used the word "pervert" as a term of endearment. A man who I would change my GPS route for was supposed to be at a show where X was performing in someone's backyard. I later found out his girlfriend, who had been slated to perform, dropped for unknown reasons. The singer from The Hotelier was there in her place. He approached us to say that we looked cool dancing during Boston rock and roll outfit Winkler's set. We clowned on him for being reviewed by Pitchfork and spent the rest of the night drinking in the colosseum playground.
I shouldn't feel guilty for things I can't control. I'm not God nor do I wish to go back. When playing this through work speakers my coworker who had recently gone through a bad breakup echoed the titular line "I should have kissed you when I had the chance."
The Others
Sunshine Factory - Uffie
EP2! - JPEGMAFIA
THE GHOST POP TAPE - Devon Hendryx*
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The Discovery of a World Inside the Moone - The Apples in Stereo*
Achtung Baby - U2*
Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart - Camper Van Beethoven
Marquee Moon - Television
Biodiesel - Brittle Brian
Bony French Cathedrals - Brittle Brian
Words & Music, May 1965 - Lou Reed
Transangelic Exodus - Ezra Furman*
Ashes 2 Ashes, Dust 2 Dust - Tommy Wright III
Coney Island Baby - Lou Reed
The Demonstration Tapes - Dolly Mixture*
God Save the Animals - Alex G
OCTOBER
Bust the Action - 50 Million
Declaring war on your body doesn't always aim for destruction. My relationship with sex is best explained by Adam Green when he wrote "I'm a tourist in all bodies but my own. Having sex is trying other people on." The truest of fans will recall my prejac era. I still don't understand my obsession with it but at the time I enjoyed watching men be humiliated. Keep in mind I hadn't watched porn in years and haven't watched much since those two weeks (sissy hypno died by sunset). Amy Jahn never fails to satisfy a similar need.
Fave Tracks: Clenched Fist, Amy Jahn
Minute by Minute - The Doobie Brothers
This is where it all began. This is why I sleep better some nights than others. The morning after a misguided attempt to make the world's biggest bed Alex and Amani and I threw on a few records to drown out the cries of tortured toddlers. Really all I wanna talk about is What A Fool Believes. Before knowing I was gonna quit I imagined doing this for karaoke at a work holiday party, which was not guaranteed even then. Completely unmemorable lyrics keep trying to push this thing underwater and yet it still manages to be an incredible pop song. Even the melodies aren't all that great for a lot of it. Those falsettos in the chorus are a zip tie made of straw wrappers.
Fave Tracks: What A Fool Believes
FutureSex / LoveSounds - Justin Timberlake
So many lovers I must address just to call out to my one and only. SexyBack alone has spawned so much discussion amongst friends this year. One pointed out how little there is separating it from Downward Spiral-era Nine Inch Nails. Another noted how wild it is that a song released by a white guy in the mid-2000s mentions twerking in the chorus, albeit said by Timbaland. Justin loves ass! Every time he talks about a woman's body it's all ass!
Faves: SexyBack, What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around (Interlude)
The Others From This Month
Wreckless Eric - Wreckless Eric
LOST SONGS - Lil Darkie
13 - Denzel Curry
Zenyatta Mondatta - The Police
Street Hassle - Lou Reed*
Broken Dreams Club - Girls
Nagisa Cosmetic - Nagisa Cosmetic*
Unicorn - Tyrannosaurus Rex*
Band on the Run - Paul McCartney and Wings
Rock Immortal - Dory Tourette and the Skirtheads
Growing Up in Public - Lou Reed
A Wizard / A True Star - Todd Rundgren*
We'll Have a Time - Dear Nora
Three States: Rarities 1997-2007 - Dear Nora*
COA - ericdoa
NOVEMBER
Obsessions never stop finding me. I will always vouch for bedroom savants of any kind. The man is at his best when he's heartbroken. Alex said The Comedy Album feels like something someone would kill themselves after making. I convinced myself that all of my favorites being breakup songs was a coincidence. Tracks not limited to Ponyoak.
Favorite Graham Smith Tracks: What Does She Know?, Wait For Me (Please), Five Guitars, Long Time No Sleep (Video Version), Why I Write Such Good Songs, Hrithik's Guitars, The Best Shape of My Life
As someone who has never heard a full Pavement song it's unbelievable how often I aim to rip them off. Maybe if more of your album covers featured this handsome devil I'd give a shit. Jo Jo's Jacket is one of the most conceptually awesome songs I've heard.
Faves: Black Book, Jo Jo's Jacket, Jenny & The Ess-Dog
Other Albums Listed Here
Diamond Dogs - David Bowie
The New Year - Dear Nora
Back in Black - AC/DC
5 to the Eyes with Stars - R.A.P. Ferreira
Milo Takes Baths - Milo
Advance Base Battery Life - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
Love and Glitter, Hot Days and Muzik - Helen Love*
Prophets, Seers & Sages - Tyrannosaurus Rex
Sunflower - The Beach Boys
Icons, Abstract Thee - Of Montreal
Zooropa - U2*
Is It Really a Secret? - Moon Racer
Stranded at Two Harbors - Holy Shit*
Satanic Panic in the Attic - Of Montreal
Children Songs Vol. 1 - Ramesh & Students of Swarmin School
donutes - Frankie Cosmos
DECEMBER
Might be my favorite recording of them ever. Miraculously rekindled my interest in the group. What I'm assuming is a cassette distorts and sharpens the guitars into a deadly shank. The owner of the restaurant occasionally interrupts to praise the band and announce that the bar will remain open later than planned. Britt is so fucking good. Voracious hits on Rhoda should be bottled and required in every U.S. home.
Faves: Ron, Washer, Rhoda
Accelerator - Royal Trux
In 27 years of life I have found very few new ways to be shy. I don't remember what people look like coz I rarely look them in the eyes. A girl needs to directly tell me she wants to be touched or I think it'll come off as creepy, even after extended contact. What I crave is permission, insistence that I am worthy. Most songs on here contain maybe three lines I think, I don't know. Google doesn't work on my computer any more. All I know is that I'm Ready makes me feel like I could ski slalom on my lover's corpse.
Favorites: I'm Ready, Juicy Juicy Juice, Liar
Some of these songs are about everybody and despite my editor's advice I'm gonna say that's a good thing. I've been writing this article for about two weeks. If it had even been a day I would have to rewrite by the end. Today I recorded with the lovely Mairead. After declaring my status as a notorious pussy they said in a somewhat joking tone that everyone's so rough, someone needs to be gentle. Without the right symbols above your head that just might turn my whole life around.
Favorites: When I Listen To the Field Mice, You Don't Wanna Be My Girlfriend Phoebe
Others
Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains*
Colours - Nadia Oh*
Black Grass - Little Wings
Molam: Thai Country Groove From Isan*
Twinkle Echo - Casiotone for the Painfully Alone
Survive the Gesture - Charles Hayward*
Danger - Lijadu Sisters
The Embrace of One Last Moviekiss - Kamara
Girls Fucking Shit Up - Lolita Storm
Brian Loves You - Brian Wilson*
16 Lovers Lane - The Go-Betweens
Flood - Boris
Oracular Spectacular - MGMT
Father, Son, Holy Ghost - Girls
L'arca - Vinicius de Moraes
Funcrusher Plus - Company Flow*
Scalping the Guru - Guided By Voices
Live on WFGB - I Like Japanese Hardcore*
See Me Ridin' - Martin Rev*
The Toms - The Toms
Urban Spaceman - Hairsalon
Yes Boss - Kleenex Girl Wonder*
PLAYLIST OF THE MOST ESSENTIAL HARMONY 2022 TRACKS MOTHERFUCKERS
Monday, October 3, 2022
Thursday, July 28, 2022
The metaverse will be so cool
My God’s name is METAVERSE.
Coming up with reality, coming up with presence. Being there is very, very important. The only next thing the triple parentheses class can offer us right now is a vague kind of level up to some dumb ass next plane of not-quite-existence. But that’s alright. It’s better than fine it’s wonderful. I think it’s kind of cool.
They’ve got autocomplete now. They come up with a new way to make you angry every minute of every day. The more I read the more I write, the more I seem the more I MIGHT be lying. To lie down or to lie to someone else. I just need you to quit manipulating the gestures of yellow straight to my face. I can’t stand to see the 16-bit RGB color matrix manipulated by your cast-off advances. We’re going to be able to take cubes and other platonic solids wherever we want. I’ve got a tetrahedron revolving around my head that I can only see through glass. And that’s wonderful. A great big tactile feeling.
Big wide panes of money, paper-y water-y strenuous access to GOLD. No, I’m not having any kind of manic episode. To imply as such makes you a kind of scary being, to me. The worst book they could have picked to base our future on would have to be Snow Crash. I’d have to go with Quake 1 as the greatest game of all time until virtual reality came along.
But the gold is the thing. I think we need a standard of substance. And GOLD makes a great substance to standardize. As I am walking ahead of the smaller guy I noticed he didn’t have an iPhone with collaterizable GPU capabilities. How sad for him. No way will he be able to render in real time an exact replica of his waking life. No way will he be able to see 100s of replicas of his wife beneath him in bed. Sad to see, these days. Maybe we need a stimulus program to help get cheap but powerful 3d rendering to the masses. Maybe we should do that pronto immediately.
I’m so darn excited for the metaverse. I really think it’s going to change everything. Everything going to sound like a rhapsody when I Google SketchUp AutoCAD myself into a polymorphous choose-your-own adventure world of 101 dalmatians. Intellectual property? As in a plot of soil guarded over by your waking life into infirmity. Into inconstant adultery? That sounds epic and cool. Really new. How do I drop my mom’s life insurance money into that pronto? How do you I make you my lifelong companion and tryst-focused lover right right right right now. Immediately, like is said so much in the new testament.
Monday, May 30, 2022
Walden 2361
2076:
Walden 2316,
the country formerly known as “the United States”, is ruled by Supreme Behavior Analyst Robert O'Rourke. You peform a digital ordering behavior to mand a Domino’s pizza through the Metaverse on a Wednesday night. Uh oh behavior for decrease! It’s flagged for review by the Ministry of Behavior Intervention, who review the graphic data displays and observe that your “pizza ordering” behavior has regressed to baseline. More concerning, the biometric data collected by your Amazon Alexa reports that you have been inching toward a BMI of 30. Uh oh!! The Ministry dispatches the Worcester Behavioral Intervention Unit to your home. Time is of the essence. They kick down the door upon arrival. “Implement punishment procedure!” one mands. As he drives the cattle prod into your writhing body, another tacts, “I find this to be extremely reinforcing!” Everybody repeatedly puts their hands together with sufficient force to generate a sound of ~130dBa for a duration of thirty seconds (“clapping” as it was once described in the notoriously imprecise pre-Skinner vernacular). As they perform an exiting the building behavior, one emits the following vocal behavior, “Based on your stated goals on your SVQ ten years ago, this intervention has high social validity. The Ministry will develop a new schedule of reinforcement.” Months later, the Ministry employee responsible for your case will engage in a smiling behavior (operationally defined as the corners of the mouth curling in an upward direction) lasting approximately five seconds as he views a graphic data display indicating that your “pizza ordering” behavior has undergone extinction and your biometric data is regressing toward the mean.
The following night, Supreme Behavior Analyst Robert O'Rourke appears on the television to behave verbally and tact about “the State of the Union”. He rigorously and objectively presents graphic data displays from a meta analysis of 100 million single subject designs (the entire US population) to reinforce the verbal community and show that its behaviors for decrease are undergoing extinction.
Senator Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stands up and emits the tact, “But there’s no control group!”
Supreme Behavior Analyst O'Rourke emits the following vocal behavior consisting of different mands and tacts in response, “This vocal behavior you have just emitted was modeled for you by Russian disinformation. It relies on formerly mainstream research methods for private events that are neither observable nor measurable. Your behavior is not reinforcing to believers of the immortal natural science of Skinnerian behavior analysis. This is a behavior for decrease, and I shall initiate punishment procedure.”
Robert begins the “cattle prodding” behavior. The entire congress stands up and repeatedly puts their hands together with sufficient force to generate a sound of ~130dBa for a duration of twenty minutes as AOC emits a loud vocalization. This is very reinforcing for them.
Watching this sequence of behavioral contingencies unfold through your Meta VR headset, you also engage in the “clapping behavior”. You experience the private event (i.e., “””thought”””), “I would be extremely reinforced by Supreme Behavior Analyst Robert personally implementing my punishment procedure.” Another private event occurs: “I wish this private event was observable and measurable by the Ministry.” Fortunately, with Elon Musk’s neura-link coming onto the market, it soon will be.
Before engaging in the sleeping behavior at a socially valid time, you engage in a listening behavior to the Hamilton soundtrack. You emit the echoic, “I want to be in the room where it happens.” Though your private events and verbal behavior tact with 100% accuracy that God doesn’t exist, a private event occurs: “Thank God for the marvelous American experiment.”
Thursday, May 26, 2022
DEADLINE - Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News - Jack Harlow To Star in TNT's "UNTITLED W.C. FIELDS BIOPIC SERIES" Off His First Ever Screen Audition
DEADLINE - Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News - Jack Harlow To Star in TNT's "UNTITLED W.C. FIELDS BIOPIC SERIES" Off His First Ever Screen Audition
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| Jack Harl DEADLINE - |
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DEADLINE - Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News - 'W.C. Fields' Actor Jack Harlow Critically Injured During Production Stunt During 'Fatal Glass of Beer' Recreation - Production Briefly Delayed
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DEADLINE - Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News - Critical 'W.C. Fields' Stunt Involved Hydraulic Squirting Flower - 'Wrong Voltage' Cited
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Hollywood Entertainment Breaking News- TNT & 'W.C.' Producers Declare Wrongful Death Lawsuit "False"; Slain Actor Harlow’ Estate Sued Earlier Tuesday
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