Maybe I’ll just masturbate again instead of writing tonight. Maybe I’ll just masturbate again so I can fall asleep. I need a sensitive boyfriend with long hair and a smooth body to punch me as hard as possible.
I wish I was a sensitive boyfriend with long hair and a smooth body so you could punch me as hard as possible. I don’t even really know What I Want, I just work here, lady. What could you know about desire, what could you know about wants and needs other than their forms as sublimated into F-F-Freudian f-f-fixations? Just because you suck cock when society tells you that isn’t right for you to do doesn’t mean you know anything about desire, babe. You don;t know anything, you piss. you fuck.
do you like to fuck? not everyone does these days, you know. you don’t have to like it. ohhh ive been a dirty boy ive been a real dirty boy mommy caught me talking to strangers on my ipod touch again. listen to you. me, i don’t like to fuck but that doesn’t mean i won’t do it. I want my girls to be happy, you know. I just want everyone to be happy.
I wrote my first song, and itrhymed “crippling sentimentality” with “gay sex mentality,” and i immediately threw the piece of paper in the trash. the song existed in my head for the time when i held the paper and a short time after, and i think that’s okay. thats how things should be sometimes. thats how a song should be sometimes. a song doesn’t have to be for everyone it can be just for you and a song doesnt have to be for ever it ccan be just for you. the song also said “dichotomous fallacies like christ gainst the Pharisees dykes parting the seven seas recontextualizing our phallusees” and i dont really know what that means but maybe someone does. do you knwow aht that means
(we turn and see a STRANGER approaching he clears his throat)
YOU ARE SOME OF THE WEIRDEST LOOKIN LADIES IVE EVER SEEN
(this concept for introducing plot into this piece isnt really working so im jsut gonna leave it there <3)
thats pretty cool soundslike a cool song i wrote an inspirational rap song int he style of gym class heroes let me do it for you heres the lyrics if you wanna sing the hook with me
you are the greatest thats ever done it
even though people rarely seem to want it
when you have no friends left and you think youve gone deaf
there's no need to seek death youre on legalized meth
you can write a song that makes someone feel sad
sad at the fact that your life has been so bad
oh it's been a hard year but dont you shed more tears
you got nothin left to lose and nothing left to fear
ohhh please dont kill yourself
you have so much confessional art left to do
at this point no one would feel bad
they would just feel kind of weird
oh girl please dont kill yourself
there's so much beauty in this world
shawty please dont kill yourself
your master plan's still unfurled
your art is more important than all this strife
even if it alienates everyone in your life
no one books you any shows, they're allergic to your flows
you got too many hoes, but thats just how it goes
you're into public humiliation self imposed desecration
you cry at train stations and test everyone's patience
nobody stays around you but they never found the real you
you just want a lover just to up and kill you
ohhh please dont kill yourself
you have so much confessional art left to do
at this point no one would feel bad
they would just feel kind of weird
oh girl please dont kill yourself
there's so much beauty in this world
shawty please dont kill yourself
your master plan's still unfurled
wow that sounds like shit dumbass. that sounds like that gay song they made when paul walker died. i hate you so much and you dont even realize it you dont even want to come to terms with it.
What? sorry i was configuring a Multi Output Device on my Macbook Pro so we can both use headphones to watch this gay porn.
oh sweet. i could not live without you. if you left me, id kill myself. i would straight up killmyself. and it would be your fault for leaving me, because you know i have mental Afflictions and i cant handle rejectiona nd abandondment because i am crazy and have Borderling Personality Disorder.
Yeah I got Borderline Personality Disorder of fries. lol. i would never leave you. that;s a promise. do you turst me?
yes darling i trust you.
well thats good because im not sure if id trust me so its good something does. anyways ******* told me we exist because of each other and she was talking about her and me and she was really just talking out her ass in the way she always talks to make grand statements she doesnt believe inbut im starting to think its true for all people everyone exists because of everyone else and all people are irreplaceable but also some people die before they should and some people die after they should and this sort of confuses things. will there ever be a thing we can call permanence? why do i cry when you are gone, why do i cry when you are here? do you believe anything i say? you dont know the people in the songs so how could you believe anything i say?
whatever, faggot. i think im gonna close my laptop and jerk off before going to sleep. do you want to join me?
yeah, i do. your the only one i let misgender me you know? its really hot when you do it. your the only one. your the only one who i let do it. your the only one feel right to call me that your one to call me felt something deeper call me by a concept. please dont smoke weed around me please dont make me smoke your weed again itwas okay when you gave me the klonopin but the weed makesme scared please dont do it this time i will be okay for you to fuck me because i know its coming this time but the weed justmakes it worse.
okay
i love you.
i love you too.
