Assorted Thoughts on Y2K Revival Hyperpop + The Upcoming "Iraq War Moment"

A lot of people think I don't like hyperpop. Sure, I think a lot of it is lazy and relies on reference/epic-spork humor for epic-spork humor's sake, but I think there's some good stuff. Like any young genre, INFLUENTIAL GENRE DEFINING SCENESTERS such as 100 Gecs, Million Dollar Extreme and Dorian Electric will pop up and iconoclasts such as myself will be silenced. For the record, I think there has been only one good hyperpop single in 2021 so far - (No Rome's "Spinning", which like the best pop house music, sounds like braindead Sex in the City shopping montage music). So I've been thinking.

I hope Lorde's song and Vampy Weeks get people to listen to this again. It's like a lobotomized Screamadelica and somehow one of the best pop records of all time.

Anytime I go on Depop, I'm flooded by Gen Z freakazoids raiding their local Salvation Army and Savers superstores listing random garbage (family reunion tees, loose bionicle limbs, sodexo uniforms) as #Y2K. The revival of Y2K aesthetic isn't true Y2K - it's a combination of aesthetics that don't match: loose late 90s rave culutre, normcore 7+ years out from Hey QT/THAT normcore article, and embrace of typical 20 year-rose tinted kitch. These 'sickos' embrace this because it lets them dress in monocolored sweatsuits like the adult children they aspire to be. The best of the bunch will flowers for algernon themselves into even poorer fashion the more research chemicals they consume. In CONCLUSION: This unsustainable collection of vibes will lead today's youth to make the same mistakes as the past.

i like to imagine this was ghostwritten by max martin (b. 1971)

If we do subscribe to the 20 year cycle - alt/indie/[whatever people that make guitar or electronic music call themselves and their fans then] people and artists will inevitably have their "Invasion of Iraq" moment.

Ugly, distressed, masc, "safe" bullshit. The return of mainstream "rock" music saving us from the towers falling and Janet's nipple (pre Bain Capital buying iH@rtMedia/ClearCH@nnel during the financial crisis - furthering the CCM/ImagineDragonfication of radio rock). 

So think U2 at their most conservative and least inspired (How to Dismantle-era). Photoshop distressing. Britney's Blackout. Daily Show Onion liberal cynicism that directly says fuck you.

You will pay $80 for this shirt on Depop in 2+ years.

Of course, you're "cool and alt" and wondering what the alternative to this new mainstreamed-alternative is? 500 Days of Summer shitcore twee revival. Get ready.

Do you think you'll still be fuckable with this and sweatbands on? Can you cum while Piazza New York Catcher is playing? Comment below.