Incongruous Conversation

★ HEY! YOU! ate my jewelry didn’t you?! FUCK you man I needed those pearls to pay off my medical debt You see I got the flu six 6 weeks ago and Brigham Womens didnt take my insurance like the receptionists promised. So yeah I’m fucked out of luck AND– 

◾Je w el   ry ? 

★ I'm Still Talking – You’re going to have to figure this out, its serious. Yesterday I paid the bodega cat in quarters. He didn't appreciate it told me it's hard counting all that change with no thumbs. I didn’t appreciate it either, inconveniencing my associate... Butt you know what makes me feel better?

◾ Gay shit?

★ Yes, I mean, No. Your shaving cream expires! tomorrow and I didn’t pick up any from the store like you asked. Yeah. Should’ve thought about that asshole! Should’ve been thinking about your asshole, asshole. What’re you going to do now that you have to dry shave??? HA-ha. Anyway, What were we talking about? Yeah there’s really no solution to the current economic crisis.

◾ Do you believe that?

★Yeah, think about it.

◾ Oh.

★ I guess we could go back to the bartering system

◾ Do you have any goods, or skills?

★ No. No cash either.

◾ Mmm… 

★ Well, I can wrap my legs behind my neck.

◾ … uhhhhh, Got it! Join a brothel, or the circus!

★ No circus, I can't stomach the animal abuse.

◾ Fine, sex work then. Did you see that video of the bear attacking her handler?

★ I wish a bear would eat me…

◾ Fuck that you’d make it sick. Chunky sick probably.

★ What do you think semi-digested human smells like?

◾ Alcoholics eating chicken probably. I need to change the subject. Let’s play chess, let's eat strawberries and cry about how our mothers don’t understand us and hate our art. Let's dress up like Richard Nixons and take hostages in Office Depot! It’ll all be some wonderful bullshit adventure.

★ Yeah! and then let's leave and never come back. We can barricade ourselves in your bedroom and set fire to the mattress. We can watch its springs burst and everything grow out of control while we stay very still. We can burn together Pass out from the pain and fumes of singed hair, pesticides and melting plastics. We’ll write an email first to the press, set it to timed delivery, it will be a protest. It will be a protest that changes the world after we leave it–

◾ For better or worse?

★ It doesn't matter I don’t care.

◾ I'm not ready to die, but I am open to the idea. Romantic theatrics excite me.

★ Morbid theatrics excite you, be serious.

◾ Stop it. I’m done don’t tease me, I can't take it not from you.

★ Grow up. You’re a stranger to me when you get like this, when you get all anal and neurotic

◾ No thats not it. You talk and you go on all dark and inconsistent like this and it's so confusing it's so confusing and it makes me feel that I'm in one of those shitty art house films you like, and those never end well. I want this to end well.

★ Fine then we’ll end well. I laid it all out already, plans all there. No one else I’d rather go out with.

◾ You’re freaking me out stop it it's scary when you – 

★ I’m sorry.

◾ You’re not!

★ Absurdity is absurdity is a joke is a plea is a lie is–

◾ A lie? Are you lying again? Are you lying about the nature of your compulsions?

★ There are no compulsions. There are no convulsions or intrusions or perfursions, conclusions or, or, or anything

◾ Or anything?– 

★ Anything! Everything! Nothing! Nothing nothing nothing it's, none of your business!! Your business is in fur coats, its sick stuff it's cruel, while we’re talking about cruelty, and what did you ever do with that muff you made out of my favorite pet opossum? She was just a little soft darling and you took her from me. 

◾ Oh! No, it’s not what you think. That thing was dead when I found it behind the wall. How was I supposed to know it was your pet? -- really that thing could've killed you with, killed you with diseases… anyway she’s no longer a muff, now it’s a merkin. A truly charitable repurposing. I donated it to an adult film star with alopecia. She’s famous now; it's her most valuable possession. I’m told she washes it with petroleum every Sunday, expensive stuff, always on Sunday. 

★ Well, that is a powerful testimony, one supposes… one supposes… that, this is a complicated matter, an real ethical dilemma. We should consult your sociology professor.

◾ We can’t be alone together – he wont stop trying to fuck me.

★ Whatever, irredeemable behaviors are just a symptom of some greater disorder, totally treatable.

◾ It’s “gooder”, not “greater”.

★ Grammar fascist. Irrelevant, AND, anyway, you couldn't more wrong.

◾ God I can’t stand it when you mumble. I can't stand it when you mumble or when you tell me your sickest thoughts and secret desires.

★ You really oughtn't make a confession like that to such a sensitive audience.

◾ Hardly a discerning one.

★ We should call this off.

◾ Take your meds.

★ It's all placebic bullshit, or irreversible non-senses.

◾ With that attitude, who needs to function well enough to go to work?

★ FUCK. I’m leaving you. NO. Actually, get out of my house.

◾ FINE! I'm taking the dog.

★ Great! Don’t let the door hit you or that horny fuck on the way OUT!

◾

★ Shit. How am I gonna pay the rent?

  ♥ L