ADVICE 4 THE VLOGGER OF THE FUTURE (LONG)

 THE VLOGGER OF THE FUTURE. 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A YOUTUBE VLOGGER/ BLOGSPOT BLOGGER/ TWITTER PERSONALITY/GAY COCKSUCKER TIKTOK VINE STAR IN 2021 IN 2025 IN 2030 IN 2040 IN 3000000000000000?????????????????????

STEP 1. WEAR COOL IRONIC CLOTHES THAT ARE LIKE FROM THE TIME U WERE GROWING UP LIKE CLOTHES THE OLDER KIDS WERE WEARING BUT U WERE WEARING CORNY ASS OLD NAVY CLOTHES YR MOM BOUGHT 4 U SO YR FULL OF RESENTMENT BUT PRETEND THAT ITS NOT IRONIC AND THAT U R SINCERELY EMBRACING THEM

FOR EXAMPLE IF YU ARE CREATING CONTENT NOW (IN 2021) YOU SHOULD TRY DRESSING LIKE THIS:

I KNOE IT LOOKS REALLY GAY BUT TRUST ME U GOTTA RIDE THA "NOSTALGIA" WAVE

NOW IF YOURE READING THIS ON AN ARCHIVED POST IN THE FUTURE, SAY 2033 OR SO, TRY DRESSING LIKE THIS:

STEP 2: CULTIVATE AND "INDIVIDUAL PERSONALITY" (LIE)

I KNOE THIS ONES GONNA BE HARD FOR PRETTY MUCH ALL OF U BUT BEAR WITH ME

YOU HAVE TO FIND SOME WAY TO "MARKET" YOURSELF TO BE NOTICED IN THE NEVER ENDING WAVE OF SHIT, THE ABSOLUTE CULTURAL SEWER THAT WE LIVE IN

THIS MEANS IF YOU ARE A WH*TE C*SGENDERED MOTHERFUCKER YOURE FUCKIN DEAD IN THE WATER ALREADY, BUT DONT WORRY! THE INTERNET IS A PLACE WHERE SO CALLED "IDENTITY" IS MALLEABLE AND CAN BE SHAPED IN ANY WAY YOU DESIRE. HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES:

1. U R A CIS WOMAN WHO HAS ONLY EVER DATED MEN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE BUT ONCE GOT T0TALLY WET ON ACCIDNT BC YOU THOUGHT FRANCES MCDORMAN WAS MAD MIKKELSEN:

SAY YOUR BISEXUAL!!!!

ITS BASICALLY A GET OUT OV JAIL FREE CARD BCOZ ITS ALL PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY AND WHO NEEDS TO KNOW A WOMANS PAST, ITS HER SECRET :) (IF YR SCARED SAY YR BICURIOUS, NOT QUITE AS POPULAR BUT WILL SCORE U SUM POINTS)

2. U R A LEAN, PORCELAIN WHITE CIS MAN WITH LONG HAIR WHO IS A POLITICAL CENTRIST (MORON) AND R VERY GULLIBLE:

BE A VAGUELY NE0-NAZ1 /  VAGUELY COMMUNIST ADJACENT FEMBOY!!!!!

IT DOESNT ACTUALLY MATTER WHAT YR ACTUAL POLITICAL OPINIONS ARE OR IF YR ACTUALLY GAY BC IF YR STR8 ITLL MAKE THESE FREAKS WANNA FOLLOW YOU EVEN MORE. MALE SELF PROCLAIMED "POLITICAL EXTREMISTS" ARE SOME OF THE MOST CLOSETED PPL ON PLANET EARTH ESP THE RIGHTOIDS N BOTH SIDES USUALLY HATE WOMEN SO MUCH THAT THEY WILL PROBABLY FUCK U OUT OF DESPERATION OR AT LEAST JACK OFF 2 YR PIX AND U ARE SO FUCKING PUSSY STARVED FROM BEING A BRAIN DRAINED GAMER JUICE GOO GOO MAN THAT U WILL BE HAPPY THAT THEY WANT TO. 

IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU MAXIMIZE ALL THE CLICHES AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE: STRIPED THIGH HIGHS, GAMER PC W RGB, LOTS OF V SHALLOW SIGNIFIERS LIKE BEING INTO MY BLOODY VALENTINE OR ANIME OR SMTHN. IF SOME 85 IQ HORNY GUY SEES A PIC OF U SITTING IN A BIG HOODIE W CHEAP LINGERIE ON UNDERNEATH READING STIRNER OR SMTHN HIS BONER WILL KNOCK THE ISS OUT OF ORBIT

HASANY1 EVER NOTICED THE BIGGEST AUDIENCE FOR THESE FEMBOY FASCIST FREAKS IS OTHER FEMBOY FASCIST FREAKS? JUST A TRUE SNAKE EATING ITS OWN TAIL OF SELF CONGRATULATION AND MIRROR-GAZE JACK-OFF SESHES. THESE PEOPLE R TRULY SICK AND HAVE NO SOULS, BUT U'LL GET LOTS OF "CLICKS" FOR POSTING PICTURES OF YOUR FAST METABOLISM UNTRAINED SMOOTH ASSCHEEKS AND FRESHLY SHAVEN HOLE NEXT TO YR BARGAIN BIN SKS OR MOSIN NAGANT OR CARL MARX BOOK OR SMTHN

STEP 3. PROFIT OFF OF PEOPLE ONLINE WANTING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU

NOW THAT U HAVE A FOLLOWING OF PPL THAT EITHER WANNA FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT OR BASH THEM OUT WITH A BIG ROCK YOU CAN NOW USE THEM FOR PROFIT!!

THERE ARE MORE TRADITIONAL WAYS OF PROFITING OFF OV A BIG FOLLOWING LIKE AD REVENUE, WHICH HAS BEEN KILLED OFF BY THE CORPORATE CONSOLIDATION OF THE ENTIRE INTERNET INTO LIKE 3 WEBSITES, (DRINK COCA COLA, SIGNED TEAM TWITTR ) MERCHANDISING, BUT WHO WANTS YR GAY ASS LOGO ON THEIR BODY, OR ... GETTING A JOB...

THAT LEAVES ONLY ONE THING LEFT..

ONLYFANS

I CAN HEAR U ASKING ME NOW, ISNT THAT MORALLY DEGRADING? DIDNT I BECUM A "CONTENT CREATOR" TO CREATE THINGS I CARE ABOUT AND SHARE THEM WITH PEOPLE WHO WILL CARE?

IM JUST KIDDING U WOULD NEVER ASK THAT BC IF YR READING THIS U ARE A SPINELESS COWARD WHO ONLY CARES ABT $$$$$$

ONLY FANS HAS CREATED A REVOLUTIONARY NEW MODEL IN WHICH TOTAL LOSERS WILL ACTUALLY LINK THEIR CREDIT CARDS TO A WEBSITE 2 SEE NAKED PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF RANDOM PEOPLE INSTEAD OF JUST GOING ON XNXX AT THE SCHOOL LIBRARY DURING LUNCH LIKE A NORMAL PRSON.

THERE ARE THOSUANDS IF NOT MILLIONS OF PPL ON ONLYFAN WHO LOOK EXACTLY LIKE YOU AND ARE PROBABLY COOLER AND MORE FUN TO BE AROUDN THAN U IF IM BEING HONEST THAT ARE SELLING THEIR DIGNITY AWAY FOR 4 DOLLARS A MONTH

ITS CRAZY THAT THIS IS LIKE A NORMAL THING PPL DO NOW LIKE I PERSONALLY KNOW LIKE 6 PPL THAT HAVE AN ONLY FANS AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, PAY THEM FUCKING MONEY EVERY MONTH TO SEE THEM NAKED? I DONT WAN TTO SEE THEM NAKED OR PUTTING FOREIGN OBJECTS IN ORIFICES. WHY IS THIS A THING PEOPLE JUST DO FOR MONEY NOW INSTEAD OF A JOB? 

I KNOW THIS GIRL THAT WAS DATING AN ONLINE FRIEND I HAD IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO HAS AN ONLYFANS NOW N ITS FREE, LIKE ITS TOTALLY FREE, WHATS THE POINT OF MAKING A FREE NOLYFANS HOW CAN U POSSIBLY HATE YOURSLEF THAT MUCH TO GIVE AWAY NAKED PIX OF YRSELF ON A WEBSITE ANYONE CAN GO ON FOR FUCKING FREE?

ITS SOMEHOW WORSE THAN LIKE PPL WHO POST GFYCATS OF THEM "JILLING" ON SUBREDDITS NAMED SHIT LIKE "/R/TINYAREOLASNARMPITS" OR "/R/WATCHTHAT PUSSYGRIP" OR "/R/SHEWATCHESTHECOCK" THE SADDEST ONES ARE JUST LIKE THE ONES THAT R VIDS OF GIRLS GETTING EXCITED TO SEE MEN LIKE CALLED GIRLS MIRIN OR SOME SHIT JUST DUDES JACKING OFF TO VIDEOS OF WOMEN BEING IN LOVE OR SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MEN I CANT THINK OF ANYHTING MORE HOMO IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

WHATEVER MAN