in defense ov burger king

 in a recent post, someone who i thought was a "dear friend" and "creative collaborator" decided to make a point of slandering the humble burger king cheeseburger. now i am a leftist/communist/maoist/dengist and as such all corporations are bad etc but theres no ethnical consumtion under crapitalism (as i call it) so i would like to take a moment to defend the humble BK (Burger King)

heres why burger king is awesome:

REASON 1: MY MOM USED TO GET IT FOR ME AFTER TAEKWONDO

i used to do taekwondo when i was a little kid from when i was 5 to like 13 and around when i was like 8 they moved the taekwondo place i went to from a strip mall down the street from my house (mcdonalds territory) to a strip mall in concord that was right across from a burger king. as such when y mom was too tired/lazy 2 make meals she would stop at bk after picking me u and id have cheeseburger no pickles.. fries.. soda pop if i was good.. all importaant things 4 a growing child to consume. 

i think i went a little earlier sumtimes too bc i remember having BK revenge of the sith toys like multiple

they were kinda lame didnt move at all but the jawa one was like cloth also the jar jar one looks kinda racist for sum reason

i used to have a plush c3po toy that was shiny gold and once i put it in my pants and rubbed it against my penis and i was so scared that my parents were gonna find out and i hid it because it turned a weird color i still dont really know if that actually happened or if i imagined it but i remember crying a lot

REASON 2: THE KING HAS SWAG

the burger king king has swag. thats undoubtable.

look at that smile. that confidence. this is a primo crazy white boy that wants to sharehis love of burgers with you, to see the joy on your face. look at that fresh beard, those furs. 

imagine the burger king in some distressed stonewash pac sun skinny jeans, loose white express v neck, holding a canon rebel eos. he knows you feel really bad about yourself, and hes gonna make you feel better by doing a nude photoshoot so you can see how beautiful you really are. hes gonna do it for free because hes just that good of a guy. more than you can say about that FAGGOT ronald mcdonal isnt it? 

ronald mcdonald would just send you ifunny memes that are pics of anime girls hugging that says skyrim font WHOLESOME 100 on bottom. ronald mcdonald is cringe. hes like a cringe guy. he sucks. once in middle school my friend mark and i were talking about counter strike and ronald mcdonald came up and was like did u know titanfall is a source game? i just got an alienware laptop whats yr guys steam names and mark and i wer elike this dudes a total fag but i guess we'll give him our steam names and once my friend lucas and i went to ronald mcdonalds birthday party and his parents are like super super rich capitalist white cuban immigrants and we spent the whole time in the bathroom making youtube videos ronald mcdonald ended up going to university of the pacific in stockton to study agriculture becaue he wanted to "cash in on the green rush" ( grow weed) but like this was 2017 when he said this like theres no way hes gonna succeed hes way too late to the game and last i heard he lost a bunch of weight and makes horrible rap music now. ronald mcdonald said and did this.