review of the popeyes spicy chicken sandwich: a sigma male's perspective

 

i forgot to eat all day because i woke up at noon and took my first dose of adderall at noon and then i pretended to read but mostly just dicked around on facebook trying to see what quirky new israeli cities everyone i knew in middle school would be living in next year. i lost a bunch of weight in the past couple of months on adderall because i don't really have a set eating schedule which leads to me skipping a lot of meals. i'm afraid i'll look like michel houellebecq by the end of the year which sucks because by nature i'm a rounder oval type jew (as opposed to the sinewy line type jews).

the once proud nation of france's answer to bo burnham. 

by the end of the day i was fiending for some greasy grub to dump into my gaping gullet so i hopped into my car and floored it all the way down the road to popeyes.

there was one woman working inside the popeyes. that's not really true. there was one woman who was like working the counter and also bagging all the orders and also cleaning the shit spayed on the bathroom walls. the last part is true. in the middle of ordering my popeye's spicy chicken sandwich someone came out of the bathroom and informed the kind woman taking my order that someone had sprayed liquid shit all over the walls. talk about a case of the wednesdays. 

 i put in some headphones and started jamming out to yung lean's classic 2016 album warlord while drinking a large frosty plastic cup of diet pepsi. 

this is where the sigma male mindset comes in. the most dangerous animal in the world is a fella on his grind. more ferocious than a tiger. more cunning than a jungle cat. more motivated than a cat who lives in the jungle. 

abundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset: anyone from an omega male to a straight-up alpha wouldn't dare ask the woman behind the counter for a side of the mardi gras mustard if they knew they had some kind of leftover honey mustard at home. that's abundance mindset. it's weak. a sigma male wouldn't do that though. a sigma male is not afraid of taking what's his. i walked right up to that counter and asked the lady working at popeyes if i could get a side of mardi gras mustard even though i had my own honey mustard back at home. that's scarcity mindset.

i ate my spicy chicken sandwich in the car and drank my plastic cup of diet pepsi through a straw and i pretended i was breastfeeding from the teat of mother pepsi. the sandwich was pretty gross as far as normal food goes but as fast food it felt nice to stick a brick of matter into my stomach. 

spicy chicken sandwich from popeyes gets an 8/10

diet pepsi gets an 8.5/10

warlord by young lean gets an 8.5/10

sigma mindset gets a 10/10

wednesdays gets a 4/10

adderall gets a 9/10

facebook gets a 3/10

isreal gets a 4/10